(00:06):
Welcome back. I'm Lara Jaye and you are listening to the Wisdom Within Podcast. We are getting right to it and we are talking about managing energy sensitivity. It is from chapter six entitled Learning to Fly and my book, the Wisdom with n. One of the symptoms of actually working on yourself and raising your vibration or if you want to use the words raising your consciousness, is actually energy sensitivity. This is a huge topic and a lot of people can feel other people's everything. For me, I have for years and I did not understand what was going on. I would dread events with a lot of people even though I wanted to go, my body would fight it because I tended to get sick when I went. Sometimes I would even come home from different events and parties and felt like what was an extra 10 pounds on my body?
(01:08):
Other times I would just have to sleep it off. For days, I really thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was cursed. It was interesting. People would tell me What's wrong with you? Tell me I was too much and not enough at the same time, and you may as well have probably heard some of these things and we're really going to dive deep into energy sensitivity today, and I want you to understand that it is not a curse is actually a huge blessing. When my kiddos were little, of course they're 28 and 30 now. When my boys were little, we took 'em to Disney World often. We lived in Indiana and we would pack up the van and drive the minivan down. It usually was about 19 hours depending on how many stops down to Disney World. And we were all so excited to be there.
(02:01):
And I as well, until I started being around a lot of people and going to the parks. I remember one day staying in line and one of the lines, one of the numerous lines at Disney World, and I could just hear all of these people's thoughts around me and I started to look around and I'm like, what is going on? Why am I hearing other people's thoughts? And then within a couple of hours I would be curled up in a ball sitting on the curb at Disney World. My husband would have to take the kid and keep going on rides because I would just be so energetically overwhelmed. I did not really understand what was going on with me. It actually felt like something was wrong and I didn't know what to do. And it took me years, years before I really understood. Nowadays there are movies and TED Talks being highly sensitive and an empathetic person.
(03:02):
I so wish I would've known that I really wasn't going crazy that this was actually a thing. One of the movies is called Sensitive, the Untold Story. I believe it's on Netflix and Elaine Aaron, the psychologist who discovered the trait and authored the book, the Highly Sensitive Person, how to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You. And then there's many books by Dr. Judith Orloff who has written The Genius of Empathy, the Empath Survival Guide, thriving as an empath and Emotional Freedom. These are all huge and were really, really important in my journey. When I first started to understand what was happening, I was taking on other people's energies and I wasn't letting go of them. And you may be doing something similar as well. You might feel the emotions and physical symptoms of others as if they were your own. Again, if this rings true, you could be an empath.
(04:06):
And actually only a small percentage of the population experience that deep, deep sensitivity, which is having the ability to feel and absorb the emotions surrounding them. Like I said, there are hundreds of books now and movies on the subject did not know that at the time. HSPs, highly sensitive people and ees energy impasse our individuals who are deeply in tune with their emotions and sometimes the emotions of others, they often have a very strong connection to energy and can pick up on the emotions and energies of those around them. You talk about massive spidey senses. Whoa, this is an HSP or ee. Now, although it can be a gift, it can come with its own challenges. Like I said, I thought it was a curse. I was like, what is wrong with me?
(05:07):
They have this heightened sensitivity to the entire world around them. And this includes being more aware of sensory information, light sound touch, as well as emotional information such as the moods and feelings of others. HSPs may also have a more vivid imagination, any deeper vibrant life than others. An EE energy empath is particularly sensitive to energy and can feel and perceive the energy of others and their environment. And this includes being able to sense the emotions and moods of others and the energetic vibrations of a space or a location. EE can also be able to perceive subtle changes in the energy around them such as a temperature or atmospheric pressure. Changes in my house, I can actually feel if the temperature changes by one degree, and I mean it one degree, my body feels different. I tell this story in the book about being out at a bar one night and I, my was talking to my girlfriend, I had my back to this.
(06:16):
There was nobody behind me when I sat down and then all of a sudden I had to have ice cream. Now I am not one who has to have ice cream. I would love to love to be able to eat it every day, not something I do very often, maybe a few times a year. So for me to all of a sudden have to have ice cream was very, very odd. And I turned around and the woman sitting behind me at the bar was very obese. And the way my body reacted to her energy field sitting down was I felt her sugar imbalance. And that is what an energy sensitive can do and how fast it can happen. And you don't even have to know. You can have your eyes closed and you can feel the people around you as an energy sensitive. So being an empath, so a lot of people say, oh, I'm so empathic, or I want you to know that being an empath and being empathetic are two completely different things.
(07:20):
Dr. Orloff explains that being empathetic is when your heart actually goes out to someone else. Being an empath means you can actually feel the other person's happiness or sadness in your own body. I can feel when a text comes through how the other person is feeling by how my body reacts. I can feel the other person when I am on a client call without even seeing them or them not even telling me Often I say, what's going on in your heart right now or what's going on in your stomach area? Because if I'm bent over and my stomach is hurting when I'm talking to someone, I can tell that obviously if I was fine before the call, I always ask, is this mine? Is this someone else's? And go from there. So another way to describe is that an empath is like an emotional sponge and they absorb both the joys and the pains of the world around them.
(08:29):
An empath doesn't simply understand somebody else's pain. They can sense it and feel the emotions of others as their own experience. And the problem with that is the problem with that is you think it's yours and then you hold onto it. So here are some signs that you're an empath. You need a lot of time alone, you others' emotions as your own. You could be overwhelmed by crowds. You have a great desire to help others. You're very sensitive to smells or materials. You're probably a great listener. You might have to be alone to feel calm. You could also have a difficult time in romantic relationships or a hard time moving on from relationships. You notice little changes in people, little tiny, subtle changes that others miss. And you can experience sympathetic nausea very quickly. For me, I can check box every single one of those.
(09:44):
So what about you? Which ones of those can you check box that you are an empath? So since I began to understand what was actually happening to myself, I've gone through many different stages with it. I used to think it was a curse. Being sensitive was a curse. I hated how I was. I thought I had to say no and hide in my house all the time. I've seen and understood how my own energy field works and saw that it was wide open. It literally looked like SpongeBob where it had holes, all these porous holes. And I would walk into a room and just soak up everybody's everything. No wonder I felt like I was carrying home an extra 10 pounds when I would leave an event and everyone else felt better, but I felt awful. And again, at the time I didn't understand what was happening and I certainly didn't know what my body was doing to tell it, to stop doing it again.
(10:47):
I've also tried closing myself off to everyone and everything. And what does that do? That just pushes people away. We're meant to be in a relationship. We are not meant to live on an island by ourselves, even though that's what an energy sensitive wants to do, right? But at the end of this podcast, I'm going to be giving you several tips on how to manage the energy sensitivity on several different levels. Now, you likely have a really big heart that you could and would take on everybody's stuff to help them feel better. I have heard from clients, but if I don't take on other stuff who will help them? I don't know. Maybe the next sucker who walks by and doesn't want to own their energy. And I don't mean that as harshly as it sounds, but I want to convey my point. I was that person that thought that I had to be the martyred healer. I had to accept that I was energy sensitive and I had to take on everybody's stuff. No, you do not. We each are all responsible. We're each responsible for our own emotions, thoughts, circumstances. Suppose you continually take on other stuff even to your demise if you do that in this case, you are meddling. You have crossed the line in meddling and their business of being responsible and learning life lessons, of handling their own energy, their own feelings, emotions.
(12:31):
You are prolonging their progress by taking on their energy and by piling even more discordance on yourself to process. And unfortunately, I am speaking from experience and I had to learn the hard way. This is not fun. This is not a fun thing to learn. But when you were sick in bed for days and days and days on end because you were processing all of these other people's energies that you didn't need to even take on in the first place, I had to learn several different ways of managing my energy sensitivity. And today I want to just offer you a few little tips. So one of the things that I began to say is I choose detached empathy. So again, affirmations usually are a bunch of bs, but this is an affirmation. I'm going to tell you what I do with it. Next, make a choice and say to yourself, I choose detached empathy.
(13:38):
So by saying that, say it a few times and then I want you to feel how your body feels. Affirmations normally do not work for me until I added on and actually started to feel them in my body. And when I felt that my body wasn't receiving it or accepting it, then I would clear that. Now for me, I clear it with light language. There are many different ways to clear it. We're not going to go into that in this podcast. I actually talked about light language in the most recent podcast. So this affirmation, I choose detached empathy. It's really beautiful to know that you're choosing yourself. You're choosing detached empathy. It is not selfish to choose you. It's not selfish to say, no, I am not going to take on other people's stuff. One of the main things with energy sensitivity is putting first and foremost my self-care practices and my spiritual practices.
(14:49):
So in addition to the affirmation, I choose detached empathy. I look at my calendar ahead for the week and make sure that I don't over schedule. I also put in already, I'm one of those people that I love to see my calendar full, but at the same time I still need some white space, if you know what I mean. So I put in ahead of time. I already block out ahead of time for me an hour for lunch, which I never take an hour. I usually take 15 minutes, but I want that hour. I want that buffer of time. I don't like being late for appointments. I don't want to be rushed. If there's anything I don't like to do is be rushed. And those are the things that when I am feeling off, if I'm already overwhelmed with my normal daily calendar, I can't show up to an event.
(15:43):
If I'm weak, well I can show up week, but then I literally will take on everybody's stuff. So I review my calendar, I make sure I'm not overscheduled, and then I have for myself made a list of 25 of my own personal self-care practices. And I do try to do at least one every day things like taking a bubble bath or lighting a candle and reading for a half an hour, things that are really about me and taking care of me. These are all really important things in basic energy and path management. Something else that you may not have thought of is grounding practices. So eating foods from the ground or exercise yoga, being in nature are all really, really great options. Grounding and being in your body, it helps you stay in the moment and be more aware of where you end and where others begin.
(16:49):
And that's really important. Another one of my favorite things to do is take a salt shower, and I already mentioned baths, but to load up my bath with a couple cups of Epsom salt, maybe sprinkle some lavender essential oil and soak. And again, you can do that with a shower as well with the same thing or with some salt scrub. The bottom line is we each need to be aware of our subconscious tendencies to believe that we have to be a trash can for everybody else. You do not. But honestly, it's your choice and I invite you to choose you. There is nothing wrong with empathizing with others in the moment, but what we do not need to do any longer is walk away from the conversation holding their emotional bag or taking their emotions home with us. Now, if we do, our ego is fooling us into believing that we can do that for them.
(17:50):
Although I knew I was consciously taking on others' emotions, I now see what a huge energy intrusion it is on both myself and them. In most instances, helping a butterfly out of the chrysalis will prevent it from ever flying. The butterfly needs to struggle, why to strengthen its wings. Similarly, we do others a disservice by holding and processing their energies because it doesn't allow them to enhance their own muscles, to learn to fly. Often others' energies and emotions enter, believe it or not, through our sacral and solar plexus. So aside from the suggestions that I've already mentioned, here are a couple additional ideas for advanced energy management.
(18:45):
Let's say you're in a group meeting online or in person feeling everybody's emotions and it's overwhelming energy depending on the situation. I can either detach my energy like I mentioned earlier with the affirmation, or I can also put an invisible net over their energy field to keep their energy in and mine out. This is very easy to do, especially if you're sitting in your office at home on a zoom meeting. You just set the intention to put an energy net over your computer holding in everybody's energy to themselves. This allows me to lean in. It allows me to connect with the person or the people talking without their energy leaking out and me picking it up. I'm not intruding, I'm not changing anything. I'm not even observing it. I don't need to know anything. It's holding their energy in for them and I'm doing the same for me so that neither one of us is a meshing our energies, yet we are still connecting.
(20:00):
And now for the fun level, the master level of energy and path management, if we continually tell ourselves, and I've been really guilty of this as well, how energy sensitive we are. Guess what? We focus on expanse. I used to go down the rabbit hole all the time. I can't go to that party. There'll be way too many people who want to suck energy off of me, dump their stuff, blah, blah, blah. None of those people take care of their energy. My body feels other stuff. We just wine, wine, wine. I only eat organic gluten-free vegan, keto, blah, blah, blah. I bet they even use a microwave. Those electromagnetic fields will get in the food and I'll feel even worse. I'm highly sensitive and the music will overwhelm me. And although I can handle holding everybody's unprocessed emotions, I don't want to put myself in a position.
(20:53):
So I'm just going to stay home here in bed as an energy empath. Really. Does any of that sound familiar? What we focus on expands. Here's a version too. I cannot wait to attend that event with my dear friend. I'll ensure I get plenty of rest before I go. So I am at my strongest and best. I know they're going to eat differently than I do. I love being with them and honoring them where they are. I don't have to do anything. I choose to stand in my power, my energy field. I am focused on being love and light. I can be in the world and not of it. I allow people to be who they are without my believing that they need to be or have something different or that I should change them. It's none of my business. No matter what food is served, I can bless it and change its vibration to align with my body.
(21:50):
I have complete power over my body and its energy. Now, which one feels better? I have experimented with both. And trust me, the second one for sure feels better for me. Words are energy, words are spells. If we continue saying, I'm so sensitive, I'm an energy sponge, I feel everybody's everything. That's exactly what's going to happen. We all know what we focus on expands. And if we are focusing on taking on others' energies, that is what will happen. The energy of a victim, martyr or sponge is weak or compromised and affirms. You are willing at some level to accept a foreign body into your energy field. These are all things that we should be looking at if we are energy sensitive. And lastly, if you've tried some of these things and it still is not happening, and honestly I did for years, I tried many of these things and some of 'em would work for a while and then it would be they wouldn't, then they wouldn't.
(22:59):
And I would get very frustrated. But if you are still bothered by your own energy sensitivity, there is actually a way to reprogram it at the soul level. Now you have to do that in the Akashic records with a very experienced Akashic record reader like myself or others. So if you are unfamiliar with or would like assistance, please, please, please work with an experienced Akashic record reader. Akashic is spelled A-K-A-S-H-I-C because if you have an inappropriate remembrance in this lifetime that's affecting your life, which is being energy sensitive, there are many, many other things that could be that your body is doing that your soul is doing that you don't want it to do in this life. All you have to do is acknowledge it with your body and say, we do not wish to have this remembrance affecting us in this lifetime. And that can be reprogrammed.
(23:57):
Again, at the Akashic level, being highly sensitive or energy sensitive, it's not a curse. It is a huge gift and allows you to get to know yourself, to honor yourself, the being that you are. And it also beautifully allows you to honor others in a really, really healthy way. You may very well need more time for yourself. Take it. You may very well need to pray and meditate more than others. Do that too. You get to choose how you're going to show up in the world. I invite you to choose you and the strongest, highest version of you. Thank you for hanging out with me today, and I hope you enjoyed this episode. Have a fantastic week ahead, and may you always seek your wisdom within.
